JOKES

It s Magic

I was sitting in the foyer of a bank when a young man walked by and then stopped for a moment on his way out. I noticed that one of the latches on his overstuffed briefcase was unfastened, putting strain on the remaining latch.

You re going to lose the contents of your briefcase, I warned him.

Just then, the case burst open. He stared at me with something akin to fear in his eyes as he gasped, How on earth did you do that?

With This Ring

My husband, Mike, and I had several stressful months of financial difficulties. So, one evening, I was touched to see him gazing at the diamond wedding ring that symbolized our marriage.

With this ring, I began romantically.

We could pay off the Visa, he responded.

.................................................................................................


Car Shopping

After shopping for weeks, I finally found the car of my dreams. It was only two years old and in beautiful condition. The salesman asked if I would like to take it for a test drive. We had traveled no more than two miles when the car broke down. The salesman called for a tow truck.

When it arrived, we climbed into the front seat. While the driver was hooking up the car, the salesman turned to me with a smile and said, Well, now, what s it going to take to put you behind the wheel of that beauty today?

Repeat After Me

Dinosaurs are fascinating. My four-year-old is obsessed with them.

Recently, we were riding on a bus and he asked another passenger for her name.

My name is Deena, she said. Can you say Deena?

Deena, said my son. Can you say pachycephalosaurus?

............................................................................................................



Oopside-Down

A man calling refrigerator repair service: My refrigerator
isn t working!

What kind is it?

It s a small one.

Electric, gas or propane?

Propane.

Ah! Then the problem is most likely vapor lock. You don t
need a service call, just turn the refrigerator upside down
for a few minutes to allow the lock to clear. Then put it
back and all should be well

Second call, a few minutes later: The least you could have
done is to tell me to empty the fridge first!

A minister told his congregation, Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17.

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying.