Today's jokes

Today's jokes

Wrong wish, sir!

A couple had been married for 40 years and also celebrated their 60th birthdays.

During the celebration, a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all these years, she would give them one wish each.

Being the faithful, loving spouse for all these years, naturally the wife wanted for herself and her husband to have a romantic vacation together, so she wished for them to travel around the world.

The fairy waved her wand and boom! ... The wife had the tickets in her hand.

Next, it was the husband s turn and the fairy assured him he could have any wish he wanted, all he needed to do was ask for his heart s desire.

He paused for a moment, and then said, Well, honestly, I d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me.

The fairy picked up her wand and kazoom! ... The husband turned 90!
Politicians!

A politician was running for re-election and was talking at a campaign stop to his constituents.

My opponent has called me a liar. Rest assured, I have never lied to you. The only problem I have is that the facts don t always match up with what I believe.